


Take on the World

by midnightsnacks



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: All Team Friendly, Alternate Ending, Angst, Infinity War Speculation, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 02:37:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11842212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightsnacks/pseuds/midnightsnacks
Summary: When Tony saw Steve again after everything that happened, all he could do was stare.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend." - _Martin Luther King, Jr._

Tony was staring at the papers on _his_ desk when he realized somewhat distantly that he really, truly hated the Accords. It was a wonder that it had taken him so long to identify the feeling.

Maybe he didn’t hate the document itself, but he hated everything it had brought on. And blaming a ‘living, breathing document’ as Ross addressed it, was easier than blaming a living, breathing person. A person he tried not to think about too much, but that was proving difficult when he was sitting in that person’s room. With that person's gift stuffed away in his jacket.

Before he could thoroughly mull over all the reasons he hated the stupid stack of papers, a voice cut through the building fog in his mind.

“Tony, get your ass down here and get to making those omelets.” Rhodey was a welcome distraction.

Tony always burnt those omelets, but he got up anyway, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth that felt too heavy to cooperate. He pushed away that hatred as he did so, he had to face the music he had put on the record player. Even if it sounded like screeching cats and grandmothers clanging pots together.

__________

“They’re criminals Stark, and you know that. Yet every week you call me and ask for me to pull strings to pardon them.” Ross sounded like he had negativity exiting through his pores.

Tony tapped his pen against _his_ desk, a rush of impatience making him feel a bit like a child. But this whole situation was similar to that of siblings pulling at each others hair, so he figured it wasn’t out of place. "So, I’ll take that as a yes?”

“That’s not how this works.”

Tony really wished Ross would explain it to him, because he felt like the puzzle was missing a piece from the set. “Then how does it work?”

Conversations with Ross never went much further than that, and when Tony was greeted with silence he ended the call with an empty bottomless feeling. He turned his head and stared out the window where birds flew without a metal suit.

__________

He dreamt of the cold and Siberian huskies. He couldn’t decide if the huskies were more like dogs or wolves, but when he approached them they jumped on him and nuzzled at his neck. He felt a stinging pain and realized they were just getting close to sink their teeth in.

__________

“How’s Peter? Tell me he’s not running off with the suit and causing mayhem.” Tony kicked the door to the refrigerator shut, not feeling all that hungry. He took his usual path to the coffee maker. He turned it on and listened to the little noises it made, he thought of Dum-E.

“No, he’s not doing that per say, but he is harassing me with text messages. Kid really wants to be an Avenger.” Happy told him, obviously at least mildly annoyed. Maybe more than mildly if his facial expressions were anything to go by.

Tony looked over at Vision, sitting on the couch and staring off into space. His clothes looked itchy and he sat as if someone was forcing his back to stay straight. Tony had seen him outside Wanda’s old room on more than one occasion.

And then there was Rhodey, who was brave and strong and tried to seem unaffected but Tony knew that there was hurting. Even if it was tightly sealed away.

That was their team. And there was himself of course but Tony didn’t even want to begin to delve into that. He picked up his mug once it was full, and brought it to his lips to take a sip.

“There’s not much of the Avenger’s anymore.” He remarked, realizing that it probably took him a while to reply. Happy didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he didn’t mention it. Tony put the mug back down, drumming his fingers against the ceramic absentmindedly.

“Well, I’m not replying to him. He’s got school, and he doesn’t need to hang out in an empty compound with you. No offense.” Happy was squinting at Vision as he talked, maybe trying to decide if he counted as a person.

Tony’s head fell back and he laughed openly. It felt like blooming flowers amidst a harsh storm. "You hang out in an empty compound with me.” He said, shooting a smile at Vision when he turned his head to look over.

“Just stopping by.” Happy answered. "Someone’s gotta take care of security.”

“But no more comas, right? My heart can’t take it.”

Happy snorted at that. "I’ll do my best, boss.” They exchanged goodbyes and Happy went on his way. Tony felt oddly adrift.

__________

He went off to help Peter more than once. He worried about the kid more than he cared to admit and wanted desperately to do right by him in a way no father figure had done for him. But the amount of trouble that kid got into was unreasonable, and that was by Tony standards.

He still went every time.

__________

Days would flit by and Tony would sometimes lose track. He buried himself in Mark’s ranging in the hundreds. Sleep and hunger felt further away than Jupiter and Mars.

__________

Tony pulled Rhodey up by his elbows, holding firm to let Rhodey know that he wouldn’t let him fall. Tony looked up at him with a sly grin. "How are you feeling?”

Rhodey nodded, focus wrinkling his forehead. "Good, I think. This feels almost too easy.” He lifted his gaze from where they were attached to his feet.

“Do you trust me?” Tony asked without preamble and with the subtleness of a machine gun. He began to pull his arms away, first loosening his grip and then moving his hands back.

Rhodey made a face that was somewhere between confused and exasperated. "Of course. You’re a genius, I think you should have picked up on that by now.”

Tony took a step back with a grin pulling at his lips again, pronouncing his smile lines. "And you, my friend, you’re standing.”

Rhodey had stood before of course, even walked, but never without either the help of Tony or the bars he had set up.

The reaction on Rhodey’s face was priceless when he looked down, Tony’s words registering. He went through a range of emotions, beginning with incredulity and ending with pure and unadulterated happiness.

And then he took a step.

__________

Tony wasn’t sure how it happened. And when it was happening, he was still going through the stages of shock. He vaguely remembered someone explaining the logistics of it to him, but he hadn’t been listening all that well.

They were coming back. They were coming back?

“How did you pull it off?” Tony asked Ross outside the conference room, catching him before he headed away.

Ross considered him for a couple of fleeting moments. His eyes were tight with scrutiny and he looked anything but happy. “I didn’t.” He brushed past Tony and by the time he turned around Ross was long gone.

Vision, who was standing beside Tony, angled his body towards him and offered a shrug. It was a jerky movement, but Tony appreciated it all the same.

“Should I have brought a suit?” Tony glanced down at his ratty old jeans and beaten up AC/DC t-shirt. He was fairly certain there was motor oil in his overgrown hair.

“Maybe.” Vision stated thoughtfully, a very rare smile appeared on the android. “Do you think they will come home?” He sounded awfully hopeful.

Warmth spread through Tony’s chest. Vision thought the compound was home, and it was almost too much. Their friends were free and here was Vision, completely unaware of the fact that Tony was having heart palpitations.

“Maybe.”

__________

Tony wasn’t sure exactly how much time had passed. He wasn’t sure exactly how long he had been staring at the flip phone. He was aware that he could just ask FRIDAY but he really didn’t want to know.

He was mad, he knew that. Much less than before but the feeling was still there, simmering quietly. There was betrayal that made his chest feel like a screw that wouldn’t loosen. Maybe a little bit of sadness, but Tony wasn’t exactly sure. His mind was too big a mess.

He owed this to them, to the team, to extend an olive branch. He owed them to try to fix things, it’s what he did best. They were broken, that much was obvious to anyone with half of a brain, but they didn’t have to stay that way.

It didn’t have to be about Steve. Because it wasn’t, it was about the team, or at least that’s what he was going to continue telling himself.

Tony flipped the phone open with his thumb, his movements quick and sharp as if he expected the phone to burn him. The whole thing was an abomination to modern technology and Tony really wanted to inform Steve that what this shitty phone was doing to him should be considered criminal.

He went into his contacts, finding only one number programmed in under the name Nomad. Tony almost wanted to laugh out loud because Steve was even less subtle than he was.

He debated what to text, running through different options and deleting each one with a small shake of his head.

_~~Nomad, anyone ever tell you to consider a career in the dramatic arts?~~ _

_~~You’re no longer criminals, so that’s exciting!~~ _

_~~You guys can come back to the compound now. We can figure this out, we’re Avengers for god sakes.~~ _

~~_Steve, things are a mess._ ~~

He settled on: _Welcome back._

__________

Tony hadn’t gotten a reply from Steve. He was certain of this because for an entire week he had been glued to that stupid flip phone like a teenage girl waiting on her crush to finally respond.

But once that week had passed, someone finally came by to visit the compound. Someone with very red hair and a painful bite. Or so he had heard from Clint.

Tony couldn’t have hid his glee at her appearance if he had tried. Even FRIDAY had sounded excited when announcing her presence to the rest of the compound. Vision was still awkwardly making his way down the stairs and Rhodey was on the couch when he saw her.

He didn’t even think to be mad at her for playing both sides in their petty war. Considering the fact that he had been wrong, he certainly had no right to be.  
He greeted her with a toothy grin, which she returned in the form of a small quirk at the corner of her mouth. He felt the need to pull her into a hug, but he simply waited for her to get within a couple of feet and considered her fondly.

He extended his arm, figuring a handshake was probably more appropriate. Natasha shook her head at him, eyes flicking to his extended hand. “Put that down.” She told him without any real intensity. And then she threw her arms around him.

“I’m sorry everything went so wrong.” Tony whispered into her hair, closing his eyes and just enjoying her embrace for a few seconds.

Natasha pulled away enough to give him an appraising look. “Don’t shoulder all the blame, we all had a part to play.” She patted his shoulder and pulled away fully. She began towards the couch to address Rhodey.

“Are you staying?” He asked her, not turning around. He stared at his feet as he waited for her reply.

“For as long as you’ll have me.”

After that, there were more visits. Wanda would stop by to see Vision, and then she would leave. But she would always return to see him again. Tony only saw her in passing but he would always offer a smile and Wanda would always nod. Tony figured they had something close to an understanding and he settled for it.

Once he had stopped her to get out an apology. "I never wanted you imprisoned. I never wanted that for any of you. And I shouldn’t have treated you like a child, I understand that now, but I was trying to keep you from something worse. And I never expected worse to be the Raft.” Tony had shrugged awkwardly. “I’m sorry.”

Wanda had stared at him with an expression he couldn’t decipher, her jaw twitching. "I can’t forgive you, but I think I’m beginning to see your point of view.” Then she had walked away. Tony had wondered if he had Vision to thank for that.

Sam was the next to return to the compound, his mouth bubbling apologies to Rhodey. And Rhodey had been gracious, more gracious than Tony could have ever been. And then he had showed Sam how he could walk with undeniable pride.

Tony figured that Clint was with his family. And he figured the same thing for...the ant dude.

Tony thought they were still broken, but he also thought maybe they were getting somewhere.

He hadn’t seen Steve yet. He wasn’t sure he was ready anyway.

Figures that it was on a bad day.

Tony spun the flip phone between his thumb and forefinger, silently considering upgrades. The thing was hideous and he couldn’t even bring himself to consider it an actual piece of technology. Maybe for cavemen.

He was sitting at Steve’s desk after waking from a nightmare that had made his bones shake. He wasn't sure how he found comfort in Steve’s space when it was always Steve in those nightmares. He was still in grey sweatpants, and his heart was still beating irregularly.

“Boss, there’s somebody here.” FRIDAY spoke up, her voice was gentle but Tony still jumped up. He raised his hand as if to summon his armor but quickly dropped it again. He squinted at the clock in the corner of Steve’s office. It was only 9, which meant Tony had slept for about half an hour and that was slumped over new tech upgrades for the team.

“I’m going to assume that this somebody isn’t a threat?” Tony stepped out of the office, hearing relative silence. FRIDAY didn’t answer him and when Tony went to the door he saw Rhodey glowering at the intruder who was currently enveloped in the shadows.

The intruder stepped into the light with a familiar look of grim determination. This time featuring the beginnings of a beard and longer than usual blond hair. Tony felt his blood freeze, and his stomach bottom out.

Tony knew that he probably could have reacted better than he did. He probably shouldn’t have just stood there, meeting Steve’s gaze with complete silence. When he imagined it in his head, he was either shouting out all his anger or listening to Steve explain himself while remaining cool and level headed.

Instead he had stood there, staring, not completely sure what his face looked like. Did it betray his anger? Did it show the lack of trust he felt?

Here was Steve, standing in front of him a free man just months after leaving him alone in a bunker in Siberia with a broken suit and a bloody face. But Tony took in trauma by the dozen these days, so he tried to not dwell on Siberia too much.

But sometimes, when he paced Steve’s office, he wondered if he had sorely misjudged their relationship. Friends? That was probably not the case, for Steve at least.

And after standing there, probably looking like the fool that he was, he had just turned and left without a word. His mind raced at a mile a minute, and he felt like his heart might break his rib cage. He went to the kitchen, mindlessly turning on the coffee machine, and leaning his hip against the counter. He tilted his head back and it hit the cool stainless steel of the refrigerator door.

“I didn’t know he was coming.” Rhodey’s voice traveled through the stale air. Tony rolled his head to the side and watched his best friend. Rhodey didn’t know everything about Siberia, but he knew a little. He knew about Tony’s parents and he knew there was a fight of some sort, but that’s all Tony had told him. And here he was, with a caring face despite that.

“Sometimes I wish Natasha would send me a warning via Morse code before we got new visitors.” New visitors translucently meant Steve, Rhodey wasn’t too dense to pick up on that, and he spared him a comforting half-smile.

“I can tell him to get lost. Him and his new beard.” Rhodey informed him with firm and unbreakable devotion that Tony appreciated more than anything in that very moment. Tony thought of the burner sitting in his jacket pocket, he thought of the crumpled letter sitting in his waste basket for umpteenth time, he thought of a shield sitting somewhere in storage where he had tossed it.

“That’s alright. It’s about time that we talked, right? I can’t avoid the inevitable.” Tony hesitated for a few fleeting moments before absently turned off the coffee machine and pushed himself off of the refrigerator. He squeezed Rhodey’s shoulder when he passed by on his way to go face Steve, who was standing in the same place where Tony had left him.

He didn’t take the time to stare so much this time, just accepted the new beard and unruly hair for what it was. Took in those icy eyes unflinchingly and didn’t think about it twice.

Tony’s first words to Steve were, “Come with me.” And then he walked past him, right out the door. He didn’t even glance back to make sure Steve followed him, just assumed he would. The faint sound of footsteps behind him was just reassurance.

He led the way to the storage room, switching on the lights with the back of his hand when he entered in lieu of asking FRIDAY to do it for him. The place was growing dusty and Tony brushed his fingers over an old wooden table when he passed by it to make his way towards a shield with some patriotic colors.

He bent to pick it up and whirled to face Steve, tossing it onto the table. The clang it sent through the room bounced off the walls. Tony watched Steve for a reaction, not sure what he was expecting but a blank gaze definitely wasn’t it.

Steve obviously wasn’t going to be the first to say something, and that irritated Tony in a fairly insignificant but bothersome way. Somehow the man was always under his skin. Apparently time didn’t change all that much between them.

“So, how was life as a fugitive?” Tony asked, crossing his arms over his chest, well aware of the defensiveness in his stance.

Steve watched him like he’s was feral cat that might scratch him if he stepped too close. He kept his distance, and he didn’t even glance at his old shield sitting on the table. “Not my taste.” He deadpanned.

“Nice beard, makes you look like a lumberjack.” Tony gestured at his face with a swirl of his fingers. Steve didn’t respond to that comment, just watched him warily.

That was fine because Tony couldn’t deal with this small talk anyway. He didn’t even know how he was supposed to react anymore. It was making his skin itch, so he decided getting to the point would make this easier than just standing around trying to be something they weren’t.

“Well?” The sharpness in his voice surprised even himself. His hands gestured artlessly towards the table and the shield sitting on top of it, still supporting claw marks from an angry king. "That’s what you came for, right? You can take it and you can leave. Or better yet, shove it up your star spangled ass.” Tony had imagined dealing with Steve with more poise than that.

Steve’s eyes flickered to the table for the first time then. "I don’t want it back.” Steve had eloquence and poise like he dealt with situations such as these every weekend. Tony wanted to throw the shield at his face. He figured it was a good thing he hadn’t kept it in his hands.

“Then why are you here?” Tony wasn’t here for pleasantries and he sure that was clear by now.

Steve shoved his hands in the pockets of some seriously hideous cargo pants. “Wanted to check in, make sure everything was….okay.” He sounded hesitant, like he might set Tony off with poor word choice. Too late for that.

“I haven’t snapped, if that’s what you are subtly tiptoeing around.” Tony answered, sick of this already. He wanted air, and the storage room was sorely lacking in oxygen at the moment.

Steve nodded like that’s exactly what he expected to hear, and yet he didn’t seem all too pleased. Steve opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, as if not sure exactly what to say anymore. His practiced speech running from his brain. When it finally seemed as if he had settled on something, Tony spoke up to stop him.

“Don’t apologize.” Tony put up his hand up to stop him from uttering the two words Tony wanted to hear least in the world. He sighed and walked out of the storage room, enjoying the fresh air outside as he did so. It was beginning to feel fever hot in the storage room.

“Wasn’t going to.” Steve assured him from where he was following, not on his heels but a few good feet away.

Tony rolled his eyes, fully aware Steve couldn’t see it since he was turned away but he didn’t want to turn around. “Now _that_ , that is not surprising at all. Glad to know some things never change.”

“I apologized in my letter.” Steve sounded almost offended and Tony turned around, staring at Steve like he was completely brain dead.

“Exactly, in a letter. Classy.” Tony said, sarcasm lacing his words. His eyebrows flicked upwards before dropping back down.

“You know, I was thinking of throwing a party.” Steve offered out of the air, like they were negotiating peace and parties were the deciding factor.

Rogers had a way of eliciting a response from him no matter what happened between them. Tony found it unfair. “A party?” Tony inquired, eyebrows furrowing together and creasing his forehead.

“Yeah, get the whole team together.” Steve shrugged, a small twitch of his shoulders. He seemed tentative.

It sounded like the worst or the best idea of all time. Tony couldn’t exactly decide. Problem was that’s not what they were here to talk about.

“Where have you even been? The whole team has stopped by except for you.” Tony informed him, rubbing his aching jaw. The tension in his body was making his muscles stiff. He tried to relax himself but he found that he couldn’t. He wasn’t equipped to deal with this.

“I was..trying to figure some things out on my own but-” Steve sighed, pulling at his hair. Tony thought it looked painful. “I think it would be good for the team get together and bond?”

“Of course, Captain America already swooping back in with his stupid team bonding. Seriously, that’s your plan? And things will magically be better?”

Steve shrugged helplessly, gaze shifting to the side before being drawn back to Tony. “I figured it’s a start. And I’m not Capt-”

“Oh, like I care.” Tony scowled, trying to contain the vicious anger clawing at his throat. “You can’t just a slap a band-aid on this.”

“You’re not talking about the team, are you?” Steve’s face twisted into something much darker and Tony thought he might hate himself. He could have chosen this opportunity to let things go and make something better out of the shambles of their old teamsmanship but instead they were going to stay shambles.

“How nice of you to finally catch up.” Tony really hadn’t mean to push things like this, and he wanted the record to show that.

“Are you mad that I left you a letter? Would you rather I dropped by to see my handiwork in person?” And the utter torment on Steve’s face was not anything he ever wanted to see. He didn’t even get any sick pleasure out of it. He just felt sick.

“I don’t know! Okay? Things are just a mess.” Tony wanted to tear all of his hair out. “But the team, for the team. Party sound’s good.”

“Wait, Tony-”

But Tony was already walking away, and he couldn’t turn around. His eyes burned, and when he entered the compound again he thought of the shield still sitting in his storage room.

Tony was strong enough to put on a brave face.

Rhodey approached him once he entered the kitchen, still struggling with walking. Not as much as he had a couple weeks prior, but his movements were still less than graceful. He didn’t utter a word but there was an unspoken question hanging in the air.

“I think there might be a party here soon. I should probably finally go get Dum-E, right? He wouldn’t want to miss it.”

Rhodey smiled larger than Tony had seen in awhile, like he had an inside joke Tony wasn’t a part of. “I can teach him some dance moves.”

__________

It was about a week later that Tony came home to that party. He had been off for the whole day, busy defending the decision to pardon the Avengers. It had been tiring to say the least.

Tony was no stranger to the press, his whole life had basically been a big press tour, but it hit a little too close to home when he had to listen to complete morons comment on things they didn’t understand.

The decision to save as many lives as possible was never an easy one and it wasn’t fair for him to expect the average person to understand that. But he was just so tired.

The first person he saw when he entered the compound was Peter, and his eyes widened marginally as he brought up his finger to point at the kid. “Don’t you have homework?” He demanded, softening only a little when Peter shot him a smile.

“Yes, technically, I do. But I’m not feeling well.” Peter coughed into his arm, unconvincingly keeping up his cover. Tony resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the kids antics.

He walked up to Peter and glanced around curiously when he heard some commotion in the other room. He pocketed his glasses, letting his facade fall for the first time that day. “Is it your birthday? I was pretty sure I had it circled on the cat calendar Rhodey gave me when I kept forgetting his.”

“No, it’s not but there _is_ a party going on. I was sent to go grab some pretzels by Sam, who I don’t think likes me all that much.” Peter shrugged, smiling at Tony one more time before walking off. Tony watched him go with raised eyebrows before shaking his head and entering the room.

Dum-E rolled up while he was distracted looking around at their mess of a group, gathered and actually talking, in a room lit with an array of colors. He thought he spotted every face from the old team. Except Thor and Banner but nobody was sure about what those two were up to these days.

When Dum-E nudged his leg, he looked down with a scowl. “Party crasher. I will disassemble you and scatter you over every continent known to man, I swear it.” Dum-E beeped, sinking down.

“Stark.” Tony looked up, knowing that voice all too well. Standing in front of him in the flesh was Barton, looking royally pissed off. Tony pushed Dum-E towards the door to go help Peter.

“Barton.” Tony responded warily, eyeing his old teammate unsure of what to do or what to say. "Um-”

He heard the crack of the knuckles more than felt them smash into his cheek. He blinked several times, raising his hand to his pulsing cheekbone. The pain was beginning to make itself present, and Tony noticed that the chatter had died down in the room. The tension was beginning to grow and Tony heard a few people step forward.

“Look-”

Clint shook his head, effectively cutting Tony off before he could scramble some words together.” You’re a dick, Stark and you deserved that. But I missed you.” Clint squeezed his shoulder and headed away while Tony tried to process what had just happened. He noticed Natasha smiling at him.

“Well I think Barton is a dick!” Rhodey called as he came over, some sort of skates in his shoes allowing him to glide over the floor.” Ouch, that looks painful.”

“It has been a long day.” Tony was his only admittance, even though his jaw felt like it was on fire when he cracked a smile. “Have you been giving these people crazy amounts of alcohol?”

Rhodey grinned almost maniacally. "I guess that’s for me to know and for you to...not know.” He picked a drink off the table and handed it to him. "But yes.”

And then Rhodey took off to go talk to Sam, while Tony shook his head and stared down at the drink. He felt like he hadn’t had one in years. With all the stress of the Accords, he had needed his head together. But it was a party, and after the day he had had, unwinding wouldn’t hurt.

In hindsight, unwinding with the one person who has the distinct capability of winding you up, not a great plan. But Steve was sitting on a ratty blue couch that had somehow ended up in the sleek compound and seemed almost natural in it’s place.

He was alone but Tony knew he didn’t feel that way. He couldn’t possibly with all the Avengers back and buzzing around. Steve probably felt enough just soaking up their happiness without any of his own. He caught Tony’s gaze and his hand beckoned him over, an invitation Tony hadn’t realized he had been waiting for. His feet urged him to move forward but he resisted, if only for a couple of seconds.

He had only talked to Steve once since...everything, and it had gone about as well as he’d expected. Getting under each other’s skin and bending each other to the point of breaking was their specialty. It was more natural than putting on a pleasant smile and brushing things off. But Tony knew that was what they had to do.

They could make conversation and not tear into each other’s throats, they just needed to work on it. And they needed to do it fast, for the sake of the team. Tony just had to push down his anger and his pride.

Tony unraveled himself from his thoughts and went forward, plopping himself down on the couch beside Steve. He left some room between them but not much, if either of them reached over they could easily touch the other. “You weren’t kidding about the party.” Tony remarked, seeing Peter walk back in with a bowl full of pretzels and Dum-E hot on his heels.

“Well, you know, Boy Scout Honor and all.”

Tony balked at him, laughing under his breath. He shook his head and pressed his lips together. "Who knew you could grow a sense of humor Rogers? Did it happen over night or did it take time as a fugitive to truly understand the importance of comedy?”

“Honestly, it’s just nice to see everyone back together again.” Steve shrugged, his shoulders rising and falling.

“Can’t believe I’m saying this but I actually agree with you on that.” Tony hadn’t even minded seeing Clint, who had punched him in the face just seconds after seeing him.

A flash of a smile came and went like lightning on Steve’s face before he turned to fully face Tony on the couch, curling a leg underneath himself to do so. “Sorry about Clint. I told him to play nice.” Steve said, as if reading his mind. He sounded sincere.

“I could have handled things better but it’s been a long day.” Tony looked down at his hands laced together around the drink Rhodey had handed him, his fingers twitching rhythmically.

“But you didn’t even do anything.” Steve pointed out, and Tony could feel his eyes roaming his cheek to check for any visible damage. He saw Steve lift his hand as if to brush his fingers against the place he was hit out of his peripheral vision before dropping his hand back into his lap. Tony didn’t know how to feel about that when his bruises from Siberia had lasted weeks.

“I deserved it, don’t worry your pretty little head about it so much.” Tony could sense Steve’s frown of righteous indignation without even looking at him. He brought his drink to his lips and swallowed about half of the cup in one go before putting it down.

“You know, I’m really glad Rhodey is doing well. Even walking again, and from what I heard that’s a miracle.” Steve commented offhandedly, obviously trying to warm Tony up to him while also changing the subject. Tony considered lashing out, but that wouldn’t have helped anyone, and it would have been completely unfair.

“Yeah, that stubborn man was never going to be down for too long. I was good at figuring out the technical parts of it, but some of his recovery was beyond my control, and that sucked.” Tony muttered the last bit, inclining his head towards Steve.

“Will you kick me if I apologize?” Steve asked him, eyebrows lifting just a tad.

Tony nodded. “I’m afraid apologies have lost all their glamour. Plus, that incident wasn’t on you.”

Steve accepted that, albeit somewhat reluctantly.

“How’s Barnes?” Tony asked him, finding it only fair that he also make awkward conversation.

It made sense at first, that Steve wouldn’t try to bring up the man that had murdered his parents while he was still trying to repair things. Not that he hadn’t come to his senses on that issue, but it still hurt and would probably always hurt. But now he was curious as to how no one had mentioned him.

“He’s in cryo. He thought it was best, so that no one else got hurt.” Steve’s voice was clipped and precise, and Tony regretted bringing it up. Not just because Steve obviously still had some choice feelings on Barnes’ decision, but also because memories of Siberia were pushing to the forefront of his mind.

Steve didn’t say anything after that, and they fell into an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, but it wasn’t long before Sam was pulling Steve away to show him something and Tony had to go pry a drink from Peter before the kid made a decision that would undoubtedly get May on his back.

The party turned out to be a success, even if Tony was dead on his feet by the very end of it. Some of the team stuck around to go watch a movie, others went off to their rooms, and a couple of people called it a night and left the compound altogether. Tony had even called Happy to pick Peter up hours in advance.

Tony was about to make his way to his own room, rubbing at eyes that were beginning to feel sore. He would say he had handled things a lot better than he had thought he could. He managed an entire day full of press without snapping even once, and he also kept conversation between Steve as civil as he could. Oh, and not to mention the team had a nice little reunion that involved only one punch that, yeah, would probably bruise but Tony didn’t even care.

It was a shame that good things never lasted.

“Uh, Tony?”

Tony whirled around. He would never not recognize that damn voice. He was aware, in the back of his mind, that he was much too tired for this and it would definitely end badly.” Yeah?” Tony wondered if he sounded as tired as he felt, and if he did, he wanted Steve to pick up on it and leave him alone before things got ugly.

It had been such a nice night.

“I think we need to talk.” Steve informed him, words careful and calculated like they usually were these days. Rapid-fire arguments were a thing of the past but Tony thought they were about to make a comeback.

“No.” It wasn’t harsh or rude even, but definite and not leaving room for discussion. Which by Steve standards meant it was definitely going to be discussed anyway.

“What?” Steve looked surprised, which was more emotion than Tony had seen on him in a while. Tony was almost pleased with himself.

“You heard me.” Tony tucked his hands underneath his armpits. “I don’t want to talk to you. _I_ would like to continue this nice little thing we have where we tolerate each other and act like we are sort of friends even though you have made it quite clear that we are not. It’s so much easier, why can’t you just let it be? I know _you_ probably want to get it all out in the open, and talk about feelings and whatever the hell but I’d rather not.”

“It’s not real. And you’re the one who didn’t want to slap a band-aid on this, or did you forget?” Steve hissed under his breath, like one of their teammates could be lurking around and would overhear their trademark bickering. Tony knew they were all already used to it, they’d had heard years of it. Maybe Steve just wanted everyone to think they were fine and the team could work again. Tony couldn’t bring himself to care anymore.

“This is better than last night, isn’t it? Look, I changed my mind because we actually communicated without spitting in each other’s faces. You don’t really want to get into the gritty details of the shit that happened. It happened, and it’s over. My life will be complete when I never even think about it again.” Tony knew that wouldn’t happen, not as long as the nightmares kept up their rigorous schedule of every time he tried to go to sleep.

“There’s no trust here, and a relationship can’t work like that Tony. One day, one of us is going to say the wrong thing and it will all implode.” Steve warned, and Tony knew he was probably right but he didn’t care about that either.

“Then avoid hot-button topics of conversation!” Tony suggested, rocking back on his heels. “Even if we talk, trust doesn’t just magically return Winghead. And even if I don't want to be, if we are ever on the field together again, I will be on your side.”

“This won’t last and you know it. Better a contained reaction than one we can’t control.” Steve was trying to reason, Tony could see that. But he could also see his fraying patience.

Tony scoffed. “Yeah, well, wouldn’t you know?” He tilted his head to the side, mocking. He took a simple step back. “Are we done?”

“Yeah, yeah I think we are.” Steve walked away and Tony watched him leave, not missing the irony of the situation. He was pretty sure he had just ruined their temporary peace treaty while trying to vouch for it.

Instead of continuing on his path to get some sleep, he went to his workshop. He passed Dum-E on the way, motioning for him to follow. Maybe he could get some of those upgrades done and get some blissful sleep on his desk. He doubted it, but it was probably more likely than falling asleep in his bed with a straightened out but worn letter sitting on his side table. Crinkled and fraying, but not gone.

__________

Truth be told Tony was still working on the Accords, mostly trying to better them for his teammates who had signed the thing. Secretly, he was trying to get rid of them altogether but that would take too much time. Really Tony was just waiting on a huge threat that would require all the Avengers to help, and then Ross would bite his words. And that was a terrible thing to wait on, and Tony knew it, but he was desperate.

There hadn’t been any new signatures, Cap’s team was staying resolute. Tony knew they weren’t thinking of themselves as retired but they had to be, at least until Tony figured something out.

Speaking of Rogers, Tony hadn’t been seeing much of him around other than passing him in the hallway just once. He hadn’t been aware that Steve had come by at all, and Tony realized how just as soon as Steve passed by him without a word or even a cursory glance. Tony had paused in the hallway, throwing a glance over his shoulder to be sure he wasn’t seeing things. He was pretty sure he was the one who should be acting like a child and ignoring Steve, not vice versa.

Tony was probably going to get hostility until he gave in to Steve and his stupid insistence that they talk everything out. Tony would probably bend, he knew himself well enough to not kid himself but he probably wouldn’t bend as soon as Steve wanted him too.

A couple weeks later and he wasn’t bending, not exactly.

It had been a slow week, so when Rhodey had asked him to go grab coffees he hadn’t objected. He took his car to Starbucks and tossed on a baseball cap for guaranteed stealth. He hadn’t thought to bring comms because villains had been laying low and Tony couldn’t even remember the last time he was sent on a mission, no matter how silly.

When Tony got back to the compound, he could sense something wasn’t right. He brushed it off as lingering paranoia and headed inside. He was met with eerie silence. It was usually fairly quiet around the compound but never like this. A clap would have echoed as loud as a gunshot.

Tony put the coffees down on the table and his hand reached for the burner tucked away in his jacket. He fisted it in his palm and glanced around. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him. He considered calling the suit anyway. “Hello?”

“Tony.” It was barely a whisper but it sent Tony rushing forward and he fell to his knees beside Natasha who was sprawled on the floor. He didn’t know what to say, reaching forward to feel her pulse. It was steady and he couldn’t see any signs of injury.

“What’s wrong? Why are you on the ground?” He asked, confused and worried because nothing was making sense. His mind jumped to Rhodey and Vision, and he got up again. If Natasha was alright for now, he had to go find the others.

“I don’t know.” Natasha seemed confused herself, and she slowly picked herself up off the floor. “I don’t remember anything.”

Tony paused, eyebrows knitting together before motioning for her to follow him. He went down the hallway with his attention focused ahead, hearing Natasha’s nearly inaudible footsteps beside him. He had to stop himself from breaking out into a run but it didn’t take long for them to find Vision and Rhodey.

Rhodey was huddled over Vision and Tony forced his feet to continue forward, even as they begin to feel less like skin and bone and more like lead. Vision was on the ground, his usually vibrant color looking drained. Tony didn’t recognize anything else as being wrong until he noticed the lack of the stone that usually sat on Vision’s forehead.

“What happened?” Tony asked, instinctively stepping forward to hold Vision’s legs as Rhodey took his front. Tony tried to take the bulk of the weight, even if Rhodey wasn’t uneasy on his feet anymore. They carried him into the living area and Natasha cleared the table before they set him down on top of it.

Rhodey had a far off look in his eyes and he shook his head vigorously. “Some-some creature came into the compound Tony and he...he didn’t even do anything at all. He just _talked_ and somehow he convinced Vision to take out the stone.” Rhodey gestured wildly at Vision’s forehead. “And then he, I don’t even-”

Rhodey produced an oddly similar stone from his pocket, pinching it between his fingers. “He gave me this, said he wanted a fair fight? Called it a solar jewel. It’s not the same gem but I think it could serve the same purpose. Maybe? I’m not sure.” He thrust the gem out, extending his palm. Tony silently took it and inspected it dubiously.

Natasha looked at the gem over Tony’s shoulder, looking every bit as distrustful as Tony felt. “What was this creature?” She asked Rhodey, sounding annoyed that she couldn’t remember anything. Tony just stared at the jewel, wondering if it could work. Because there was no way he trusted the _thing_ that gave this to Rhodey but he couldn’t deny that it might be able to replace the mind stone.

And Vision still hadn’t opened his eyes. Tony checked for a pulse and he wasn’t able to hear his synthetic heart beating.

“I don’t know, I couldn’t even get a name, but he was definitely alien. He said he was part of the Black Order? I couldn’t get much more than that, or at least I don’t remember because there are gaps in my memory.” Rhodey ran a hand over his head, distress radiating off of him in waves. The stone that the alien had taken was powerful, but they had no leads and no clue hinting at which direction they should go. If all they had was faulty memories, Tony figured it was best they deal with Vision first.

“We can’t trust anything he said. He messed with my memory too and I can’t remember a thing. For all we know, that solar jewel, is just a trap.” Natasha’s voice was firm and cold. Tony spared her a glance, but didn’t comment on it.

“We have to do something.” Tony stared at the burner in one of his hands and the jewel in the other. Steve would tell him not to, but he couldn’t just sit back when he could do something. _I know you were only doing what you believe in, and that’s all any of us can do, it’s all any of us should._

Rhodey must have caught on, maybe something in Tony’s face gave it away, or maybe Rhodey just knew him long enough to know when he was up to no good. Tony was leaning towards the latter. “No, Tony, _no_.”

Tony looked up, setting his jaw. He couldn’t just sit back, if only for Wanda’s sake. “Sorry.” He whispered, surging forward to put the jewel in the place of the old stone.

Things were a bit of a blur after that. He heard a rush of footsteps and Steve and Wanda’s voices yelling, he assumed Natasha had contacted them somehow. They were too slow to stop him and the gem was already in place. The light filtering through the windows of the compound lit up the jewel and-

_Thud. Thud. Pause. Thud. Thud._

There were voices and they were an incessant buzzing in his ear like a house fly that wouldn’t go away. Underneath all that he could hear rhythmic pacing. He was content ignoring all of that, or at least he was until it began to drive him crazy.

Tony’s eyelids fluttered open and he immediately regretted it because it sent pain shooting through his skull. It felt like a remarkably bad hangover.

He was on some sort of bed, maybe a couch, and above him were two very disapproving faces. He blinked heavily, trying to make them out but the red hair and the broad shoulders were dead giveaways.

“Tony? Tony!” He felt a hand help him to sit up and he appreciated it, he did, he just didn’t appreciate the way it made his brain feel like a ping pong ball in his head. And that hand was too strong to be Natasha’s. “Are you alright?”

Steve, always the gentleman, even in times of crisis. Tony squinted at him like he was crazy, because he was, but his eyes also felt bleary so that probably had something to do with it. “Uh, yeah, I gue-” He began, lifting his hands and feeling bandages around his head.

“What were you _thinking_?” Rogers punctuated every word behind gritted teeth, and Tony blinked at him. At least that was more like it, Tony had worried the old man had gone soft. He had his hands on his hips and everything. Tony took in the black Captain America outfit and frowned when he saw the star missing. He was seriously considering giving him a new name for his new suit. But actually, Tony vaguely remembered a new name, it was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t pin it down.

“Why would you go and ruin the suit I put so much time into?” Tony asked, reaching his hand out to touch the place where the star was still outlined. Rogers caught his hand, his grip tight enough to focus up Tony’s brain.

“Oh, um, you mean the whole thing with...Vision? Is he okay? Did he wake up?” Tony made to get up but Rogers was in his way and he was an immovable wall of muscles. He saw Natasha standing off to the side, watching them with unreadable eyes.

“I’m going to ask you again. What were you thinking?” Rogers was intimidating, that was for sure. Tony had almost forgotten for a second.

“Look, Cap, get off my case. You haven’t been around all that much, alright? I had to make a call and I knew there were risks but I also knew it was the right call.” Tony explained, and since Rogers refused to answer him he still had no idea on how it panned out. He had gathered that after he had put that solar jewel in the place of the mind stone, the power had thrown him back and he had hit his head. And apparently he was the only one sporting any injuries but to be fair he was the closest to Vision when it had happened.

He was surprised he remembered as much since it was probable that he had a concussion. He did feel oddly mellow, if that was anything, and maybe he was a bit distracted.

He glanced around for some sort of medicine to help his head.

“-are you even listening?” Rogers was shaking his head now, obviously both aggravated and exasperated. That was probably Tony’s fault. “What you did was dangerous, Stark. You had no idea what that jewel would do, and yet you acted impulsively. All reason pointed to that jewel being harmful or something that could have hurt everyone, alright? The Black Order does not sound like an Avengers fan club, and you shouldn’t have done anything they wanted you to do.”

Tony felt his anger spark, and that could really only exacerbate the situation. “Rogers, I couldn’t just sit back, okay? This isn’t my field of expertise but Bruce isn’t here and there was a viable replacement for the mind stone in the palm of my hand.” Tony’s fingers twitched subconsciously.

“You couldn’t have known that it would work! What if it was a trick? What if it is going to completely change Vision for the worse?” Rogers demanded, crossing his arms over his chest. At least he was abandoning the hands-on-hips pose, that just made him look like an angry teacher.

“Vision was always a risk. I mean, when we first created him, Bruce and I were still fresh off building Ultron. I was doubting everything but we knew that this, this would work. We knew it would change the tides and it did. You doubted us then too.” Tony attempted to stand up, biting back a groan. He decided against it, one hand coming up to fiddle with his bandages. His head had seen better times.

“This is completely different, you put your faith in aliens instead of trying to think of something else. You’re a brilliant mind, Tony, you could have thought of _something_ else. I mean, what if something had happened to you?” It was incredible how Steve could insult him and compliment him at the exact same time.

“I know my limits. As much as I hate magic, I don’t understand it and I certainly can’t replicate it. I had to do what I could for Vision’s sake. For Wanda’s. I don’t know how many ways I can say it, I _knew_ the risks. I was hardly the biggest factor.” Tony sighed, yanking off his bandages. He saw Natasha raise her hand as if to tell him not to but he ignored her. “You know a little bit of trust wouldn’t be unwarranted.”

Steve watched Tony for a few fleeting moments, his jaw still tight and anger still visible in the lines on his face. His fist clenched and unclenched and then he walked away, murmuring something to Natasha as he left.

“Nice emo look by the way, surprised you didn’t dye the hair as well!” Tony called after his retreating form, and once Steve was completely out of view, he fell back on what he could now decisively say was a couch. He eyed Natasha still lingering in the corner of the room. “What happened while I was out?”

Natasha shrugged with just one shoulder, lifting and dropping it in a subtle movement. “Vision did wake up and then he flew away. We aren’t sure about his memories or anything like that, but he is alive. Or as alive as an android can be.” Tony opened his mouth to ask about Wanda but Natasha was already a step ahead of him. She usually was. “Wanda went after him, we are hoping she can bring him back and calm him down. It’s the only reason you didn’t get an even bigger lecture.”

“I’m just a really lucky guy, I guess.” Tony rolled his eyes and gently prodded at his head, feeling a nasty cut beneath his fingers. He winced and lowered his hand, containing a grimace.

“You’ll be okay, although you should have left those bandages on. And you’re probably at least a little concussed so don’t sleep for a few hours.” Natasha advised him, smiling lopsidedly.

“You know what sucks? The only way me and Rogers know how to communicate is through verbal lashings and arguments and I don’t even get any makeup sex out of it.” Tony stated, sitting back up again. If stayed laying down he would undoubtedly fall asleep. He was feeling oddly lethargic.

“It’s a tragedy.” Natasha affirmed, her smile growing almost imperceptibly, before she stepped out of the room in the same direction as Steve.

Tony’s eyes widened a bit and then he broke into a smile. He pushed himself up to go after her, mainly because he would be out of his mind bored if he just sat around. He felt something hard underneath one of his hands as he did so. He looked down and saw the burner sitting on the couch.

He must have dropped it when he had hit his head, evidenced by the scratch marks on the phone. It was apparently indestructible because it was still in fighting condition. Tony was about to pocket it when he realized Steve had probably given it back to him. He didn’t know what to make of that. He flipped the phone open and saw a message.

_Nomad : Next time call._

That was the first message Tony had received and of course it would be after they had already seen each other in the flesh a few times. And when they were about five feet away from the other. Not to mention it was basically Steve making a point anyway. Tony slipped it into his pocket.

He got up on tired legs. He felt like he was moving through jello and yet he felt tense and high-strung. He hoped Vision had turned out alright, and he really hoped he hadn’t been wrong. Sure, it would be great to have one over Steve, but really he was just worried. He had already hurt Wanda so much, and he’d be lying if he said she didn’t cross his mind when he decided to put the jewel in the place of the mind stone.

He walked down the hallway, spotting Rhodey. “Hey, are you okay?” Tony knew just how much aliens could mess with a person's state of mind and Rhodey had seemed perturbed earlier.

Rhodey looked up, relief flooding his features before that was quickly replaced with annoyance. “Man, you are the one who went flying across the room. I thought Cap would have a heart attack.” Rhodey’s gaze roamed his head, lingering on the visible gash. “Where are your bandages?”

Tony brought his hand up to touch the gash, hissing between his teeth. He dropped his hand. He had a strange feeling that he had already tried to touch his injury and had gotten the same results. “I-It’s fine. Cap was...worried?” That didn’t make any logical sense.

“Yeah, he went on an emotional roller coaster. First he walked in pissed, and then he had a mini freak out, and then he was just upset.” Rhodey went off to look for bandages, coming back with gauze to wrap around Tony’s head. Tony swatted at his hands, his mind still playing catch up.

“Well, he went back to pissed and yelled at me. Thanks for being there and defending my honor.” Rhodey waited until Tony grew tired and let his hands fall uselessly at his sides, allowing him to wrap up his head. It made him feel foolish, like a kid who had hit their head on something stupid like a pole.

Tony was really still trying to understand what Rhodey was saying. Maybe it was just the drama of the whole situation with Vision and Rhodey was just over exaggerating. He couldn’t even begin to fathom why Steve would care, or react like how Rhodey was saying he had.

He could fathom being left in a freezing bunker in Siberia. But not this.

Rhodey was probably teasing him because he had a concussion anyway, so he wasn’t about to take his words at face value.

Rhodey finished wrapping the bandages and he tied the end of the gauze, patting Tony’s hair into something presentable. At least that’s what Tony was counting on. “I know I can be selfish, and I know I don’t say this enough but, how’s my hair?”

“Looking sharp.” Rhodey chuckled softly, putting his hands on Tony’s shoulders. “Now, want to help me get recruited to the Finding Vision Task Force?” Rhodey asked, waggling his eyebrows.

“No way, you are benched until-” Tony put a hand to his chin, pursing his lips. “How’s 2025 sound?”

Rhodey smiled, taking a step towards the communal kitchen. “Come on, let’s get some food in you.” He led the way and Tony followed, wondering why there was blood on his shoes. He figured it would be fine, he could just clean it off.

“Get the coffee going, would you FRIDAY?” Tony was on the search for paper towels when he forgot why he wanted them. Frustrated, he nearly ran a hand through his hair before remembering there were bandages in his way. Tony gave up and sat down at the counter.

“Concussion getting to you? FRIDAY said it might peeve you off a bit.” Rhodey brought Tony the coffee once it was done, pushing it to him. Rhodey, Tony decided on the spot, was a creepy mind reader. And he told him such.

Rhodey laughed. “That’s very flattering.” He sat down beside Tony, his newest exoskeletal brace making a small noise as he did so. Tony peered down, wondering if he had to make some adjustments.

“Your legs?” Tony prompted, prepared to go to his workshop and grab a wrench to do the adjustments. He was probably already getting ready to go because Rhodey put a hand on his arm.

“They’re good.” Rhodey pulled his hand back and Tony relaxed again. He drank his coffee, enjoying the warm steam that fanned his face. They were like that for a couple of minutes before Vision and Wanda came barreling through the door. Tony didn’t know who was up first, Rhodey or himself.

Natasha and Steve were in the room in only a couple of seconds, FRIDAY probably alerting them of their presence. Everyone in the room was holding their breath.

“I’m alright.” Vision started, his words slow but sure. He nodded, his lips almost forming a smile, but that was short lived as it faded before it had even appeared. Vision looked at each of them in turn, his face grim. “But the Earth isn’t.”

__________

Things got a lot more complicated after that.

The first week after Vision lost his stone, everyone was on high alert, and yet nothing happened. They conferred in the compound, trying to figure out what was going on.

“They have the mind stone in their possession, whoever these aliens are, and they haven’t used it. They must have a bigger plan, so I need you all to put your minds together and figure this out. I’ve contacted every super powered person that’s known to this world, so you’re probably going to be meeting some new faces.” Fury stated as Steve looked down at all the files they had strewn over the table. Tony was sitting across from him, flipping through the pages of files they had on Asgard.

According to what was written there, Thor had come into contact with another one of the stones. Apparently it was even more powerful than the mind stone. Tony tapped his fingers against the edge of the table with an unstable rhythm.

“Well, that should be interesting. Why aren’t these “super powered people” Avengers?” Sam asked, raising his eyebrows and crossing his arms over his chest. “I mean, are we even Avengers?”

“This isn’t about being Avengers anymore. Every single one of you is here to save the Earth, to save the universe. This officially goes beyond your petty fighting and differences, this goes beyond the team. You all need to trust each other even if you don’t want to. And you’re going to trust any new super people you meet. That’s how this works, Sam.” Fury placed his hands on the table, leaning over and giving them each a one-eyed stare. “Am I clear?”

Tony shared a look with Steve. Tony saw his own doubt reflected in Steve’s eyes. He also saw understanding. Because they were going to have to put everything aside. It was a silent agreement that meant moving forward.

“No offense, Fury, but how can we trust people we don’t even know?” Natasha pointed out, not even looking at the folders sitting in front of her.

“You can and you will for the sake of something bigger than the lot of you. Everyone I bring in is fighting on your side and that’s enough.” Fury sighed, and Tony thought he seemed a little older. A little wearier.

“I think I know what these guys are trying to do.” Tony gestured towards the papers laid out before them. “We know there are more stones like the one the Black Order took. And we know all of these stones are powerful. So, what if, they want to combine that power and be unstoppable? It’s not all that far-fetched, they would just need something to wield the stones.”

“Like a gauntlet.” Steve picked up a piece of paper on the table and held it up, realization dawning in his eyes. The vague outline reminded Tony of his own gauntlets. And sure enough there were little divots where the stones would go.

“Yeah, exactly like that.” Tony felt a smile creep up on him, even though he knew he should be terrified, and he turned his head towards Fury. “That’s a sci-fi geek's dream.”

“And our nightmare.”

During the second week, while Tony was down on Earth with Steve, they reverted back to their old ways. Truce momentarily forgotten.

“Take the damn thing, I have no use for it and you seem to think your fists are good enough for a psychotic alien army.” Tony held the shield out, anger spelled out in his eyes.

Steve was a stubborn as always when he shook his head, eliciting an annoyed noise from Tony. “I told you, I gave up Captain America when I dropped that shield. And you’re only trying to give it back to me to help but you don’t even think I deserve it.”

Rogers hit the nail on the head with that one, or at least the pompous bastard assumed he did.

“Of course you deserve it! You’re honestly denser than a neutron star. I told you to drop it because I was hurt and I was mad and I was trying to get you to feel just a sliver of what I was feeling.” Tony’s arm was growing tired, and his mood was deteriorating, as it usually did when Steve felt the need to argue.

“But do you trust me?” Tony noted that Steve did seem fairly surprised by Tony’s earlier admission but of course he was already moving forward and past that.

Tony’s arm sunk back down to his side, and he felt weariness drag his shoulders down. “I want to.” Maybe he already did trust him, he didn’t have enough of a handle on himself to be sure. He just couldn’t give Steve false hope.

Steve smiled sadly, as if he was already expecting that answer, and then he turned and left without another word. Tony stared down at the shield and thought of betrayal that he had been trying to avoid. He tried very hard, once Steve was gone, to let it in and let it go. He thought it might be working, because he felt lighter.

When he really thought about it, there was honestly no person he trusted more. And that was more significant than Tony wanted to give it credit for.

In the third week, Tony saved Steve’s life. The Black Order was a dangerous group, and they proved to be more powerful than most of their foes had ever been. One superhero was never out on their own and Tony had volunteered to go with Steve because the stubborn idiot thought he would be fine on his own.

“I’m just checking in on a disturbance at an infinity stone location. I doubt it’s anything.” It was never not anything these days. Tony hadn’t said that though.

“I’m bored, Fury hasn’t given me anything to do today.” Steve had eyed him one more time before shrugging and accepting that response. Tony could tell he wasn’t buying it.

They had gone to the location and nothing seemed disturbed. Tony frowned and looked down at the green stone. The time stone. Doctor Strange, who was a nice fellow with an amazing beard, hadn’t fought them on keeping it somewhere safe. He had seemed reluctant though.

“See? Nothing.” Steve walked up beside Tony and stared at the stone as well. “A little flashy, don’t you think?”

Tony smiled, turning his head to look over at Steve. When had he gotten so close? Tony could make out every speck of green in his eyes, and wasn’t it annoying that Zemo was right about that? Green just like the ominous stone. “I think it’d bring out the color in your eyes. Plus, everyone likes flashy.”

Steve didn’t seem so sure, and he glanced over at the stone and then back at Tony. “I know I woke up in another century and all that, but these stones are weird. Even for me.”

“Tell me about it. I _hate_ magic.” Tony turned his head so he wasn’t thinking so much about how close Steve’s face was. It didn’t help, Tony was hyper aware of Steve’s gaze locked onto him. “But time is a pretty cool thing to manipulate. Would you ever try it? Go back to the 1700’s?”

Tony turned his head again to fully enjoy the sight of Steve’s smile. He couldn’t help it, the smile begged for attention. “I’m not that old.” Steve pointed out without fervor. “But no, I wouldn’t. I couldn’t go back to having a flip phone.”

Tony scoffed in an attempt to stifle a laugh. It was odd being able to joke about it now after their wounds had mostly healed. “I don’t have your same reservations. I think I would just try out the future. No flip phones, probably more holograms.” Tony joked, shrugging his shoulders. “In reality, I would let things play out as they should. We shouldn’t try to abuse these things, even if we really want to.”

“What if we fail?” Steve asked, he looked incredulous but also curious.

“We won’t.” In Tony’s mind it was just that simple.

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

Tony’s suit flew to his body and materialized into his armor in mere seconds. He stepped in front of Steve and held up a repulsor, charged and ready to fire.

“Nobody needs to be hurt, I just need the stone.” The alien smiled at him, wicked and pale, twirling the spear looking thing in it’s hand. It looked awfully sharp but Tony sure as hell wasn’t letting this thing get away with the time stone.

The rest was slow motion. Before Tony could get a good look at the alien, who he was fairly sure was from the Black Order, it was striking forward and Tony had to make a quick decision. He knew what he should do, and he knew what he was going to do before he even moved.

He turned around a shot his repulsor at Steve’s chest.

They lost the stone. The alien had already disappeared.

“What was that?” Steve was back on his feet, he looked like he was going to go barreling out after that alien. His eyes were wild. “What did you _do_?”

“What needed to be done.” When Steve did finally move forward it was to shake Tony by the shoulders.

“You let the alien get away!” There was utter distress in Steve’s eyes but Tony wasn’t sorry for what he did. He would have done it a million times over. It was a stone and Steve couldn’t possibly think Tony would have chosen it over his life. Over both of theirs.

“I know.” Tony responded dumbly, prying Steve’s hands away. “I couldn’t-”

“Tony they are one step closer to having all of the stones because of you!” Steve backed away a couple of steps and ran a hand over his face. His eyes were scrunched together with irritation.

“Would you rather I let you die? He was going to go after you.” Tony shook his head, looking at where the stone used to rest inside what they had hoped to be a nearly impenetrable case. The case was broken around their feet now.

Tony let the armor fall away from him again.

“I don’t care. We are fighting for the greater good, Tony! One live, when it comes to millions, to _billions_. How could you risk it?” _How could he risk it?_

“We need you if we are going to beat this thing, alright? I-” Tony paused, drawing in a breath of air, he held back the words that threatened to escape him. “We didn’t have backup and we weren’t powerful enough to beat that thing.”

The light that had surrounded them seemed to fade into the shadows and as they headed back to speak to Fury, words were clogged in their throats.

Tony silently pondered what the chances were that he would meet Steve Rogers. What the chances were that he would let him die. Both seemed so impossible.

It wasn’t until an entire month of chaotic happenings passed that he truly talked to Steve.

A month of meeting other superheroes they had no idea existed and dividing their time between space and Earth. With global destruction at hand, the Accords were the last thing on anyone's mind.

It was a miracle they found a moment alone. Thanos had all the infinity stones now and the infinity gauntlet to go with it. Everyone was just waiting for the inevitable. The moment he finally attacked. Tony’s bets were on tomorrow. So were Natasha’s.

Tony was sitting at Steve’s desk, staring off at a random space on the wall. He was part of the the half of the team stationed on Earth. Tony knew that didn’t make tactical sense when he had a suit of armor he had specifically designed for space. He would have gone if they had asked.

He still didn’t like space all that much, but nobody really knew about his PTSD anyway.

Tony looked up when he saw a shadow form in the doorway. Steve stood there, fingers clutching the door jamb, he didn’t ask what Tony was doing there. Tony didn’t offer an answer.

“I could have helped the Guardians.” Tony could see moonlight glinting off his Iron Man suit in his peripheral vision and he knew sitting beside it was Steve’s old shield. Steve was already dressed up in his dark Captain America suit sans the shield. Tony had tried offering it back to him countless times. You can’t hold a grudge when death hangs in the balance. Thanos wasn’t a threat to be taken lightly.

Of course, Steve didn’t care about that because he had Erskine's serum and that meant he was incapable of dying.

“The Guardian’s can take care of up there, we need you on the ground. Plus, they have help.” Steve stepped through the threshold, eyes wandering around his old space. Tony knew some of his things were laying around but he didn’t care if Steve noticed. World ending threats tended to do that to a person. Tony was ready for honesty.

“You don’t need me on the ground, you want me on the ground.” Tony’s eyes flickered to Steve's, and he held his gaze without even a blink. “You have some weird guilt over Siberia, it’s the only thing I can think of to explain the way you act.”

Steve turned away, eyes drawn to his drawing balanced next to the window. “That’s the only thing?”

“Stop, stop doing that. Expecting me to know things I couldn’t possibly know. Will you just talk to me without riddles? I can’t take it anymore. The world is ending and I’m sick of this shit.” Tony stood up, resting his palms on the surface of the dark wooden desk. He was fed up and exhausted. He couldn’t do this anymore not with Steve.

Steve didn’t look back at him, his eyes anywhere else. “So you want to really talk now? About everything?”

Tony blew out a breath of air his eyes sliding shut. “If that’s what you want, fine.” Tony’s eyes flashed back open and he pinned Steve with a furious glare. “ It started with the Accords which, I’ll admit, came at a bad time for me. After Ultron I was struggling with the guilt of the destruction I had caused, Pepper and I had ended things, it was-” Tony felt his chest tighten when he thought back. “Not a great time.”

Steve was looking at him now, and Tony couldn’t tell exactly what was running through his head but he thought he saw hints of regret.

“The Accords weren’t ideal and god knows I didn’t do the best job of making my case for them but it meant we all got to stay together. It meant something like Sokovia might never happen again. And that was enough for me.” Tony raked a hand through his hair, fingernails brushing against his scalp. “I’m usually the last person to go with the government, I literally had to fight them tooth and nail to keep my Iron Man suit, but this time I was willing to go along.”

Tony pushed forward. “And then there was the airport debacle, and really all I wanted was to keep you and your team from becoming criminals. I wanted you guys to stay and not give up being Avengers.” Tony shook his head, fingers tightening around the desk and turning his knuckles white. “If we could’ve just talked, I would have been on your side and Rhodey wouldn’t be-” Tony trailed off, his eyes dropping to the desk. “As soon as I realized I was wrong, I came to help you.”

“I know.” Steve spoke up, eyes going soft when Tony looked up. “I doubted you then, thought the Accords would stop you. I’m really trying to work on that. Doubting you, I mean.”

“Shoot for more realistic goals.” Tony felt one side of his mouth twist up, and he walked around to the side of his desk. His right hand sliding against the top and collecting dust. “Anyways that’s all I got. You remember the rest, no need to get into the gory details of the story.”

Steve took a step forward, clearing his throat. “I didn’t want to have to wait to fight crime until I got approval by a bunch of bureaucrats that have no idea what we deal with.” He sighed. “But I won’t deny that Bucky affected my decision. You weren’t wrong, he is my blindspot.”

Tony bit hard enough at the inside of his cheek to draw blood, he tried to push away the usual thoughts that came with Steve’s best friend. His parents murdered by Bucky’s hands and then his own ready to kill him in return. “Sorry for attacking him like that. I like to think that I wouldn’t have really gone through with it. Really killed him but...I guess I have you to thank for stopping me.” Even if it was with a shield breaking his arc reactor. Even if that shield had nearly killed him.

Steve must have read his thoughts because he winced, and looked away. His hands began to rub together in front of himself. “Don’t thank me for that.” He muttered under his breath, Tony barely picked up on the words.

“I actually have a question, just to finally know before we get tossed into the heat of battle.” Tony took a small step forward, his eyes trying to figure Steve out. “Were you going to kill me?”

Steve looked hurt, like Tony’s words had sliced a cut right through him and it was a long road to recovery. His eyes were wide with shock. “No, _no_ , Tony of course not! I was trying to save Bucky and stop you, that’s it. I wouldn’t have-” Steve breathed in what looked to be a painful breath. Tony realized he wasn’t going to voice the words.

“Well, just curious.” Tony shrugged like it was no big deal, because that’s how he handled things like this. If he let it spiral into something bigger in his head, like New York and aliens, he wasn’t going to be able to pick himself back up.

“I’m so sorry you thought that.” Steve looked genuinely like he was dying a little inside. Tony wanted to comfort him, and _that_ was odd. But fighting a crazy purple dude wasn’t exactly in the spectrum of normal.

If it was his last day, why the hell shouldn’t he do what he wanted? Not that he thought tomorrow meant imminent death but there was a probable chance. Tony was going do anything and everything to get everyone else out alive. It couldn’t play out like it did in his head, he wouldn’t let his friends die around him.

Tony stepped forward and put a hand on Steve’s arm, hoping that would provide some sort of solace. “It’s okay, the past is the past. Sometimes I think we just have to move on, even if it’s hard.” And damn, he didn’t remember being so wise. Maybe living for so long and seeing so many things finally made him sage beyond his years.

“Yeah, I think that’s some good advice.” Steve answered but Tony knew that was Steve’s biggest point of struggle. One day, when this was all over, Tony hoped Steve could make a new life. The one he always wanted.

And Tony could tell you almost anything about science. He could answer questions about thermonuclear astrophysics without even blinking an eye. He could measure probabilities and and make estimates frighteningly close to the true numbers.

But for all he could do, he couldn’t have predicted this. Because while Steve was good and pure, Tony was tarnished and broken. Because they could never agree on one single thing. Because in Siberia, Tony Stark thought he was going to die by the hands of someone he trusted for the second time in his life.

It was just a soft brush of lips but it made Tony feel like he was attached to a live wire. Tony’s eyes were still open and he slowly lifted them to meet Steve’s eyes which were only inches away from his own. They hovered in each others space, lips close but not touching again. Their shallow breathing mingled in the space between them.

“Sure you know what you’re doing?” Tony asked, his voice nearly inaudible, but he knew Steve’s hearing could pick up on it. His eyes flickered down to Steve’s lips. So close and yet they felt unreachable.

“I have a vague idea.” Steve answered, and then things moved a lot faster. Tony thought he might have moved first, tilting his head up and kissing Steve’s lips. His inhibitions flew out the window and he just let himself fall.

It was heat and beauty, but it was cold and messy. His mouth was pressed against Steve’s with hunger and unhinged vehemence. His hands came up to rest on Steve’s chest, absently tracing the shape of the star that used to sit there. Steve’s fingertips were a constant pressure on his waist as they pressed into his exposed skin.

They were so close that Tony was dizzy with the feeling of it, and he had to force himself to break away for air. He could barely breath, barely even think but he needed more of this. More of Steve. Because maybe he had never seen it before, or simply ignored it, but he _wanted_. And it ached, it hurt, it thrashed at his insides but he couldn’t deny it.

“Off.” Tony urged, reaching for the latches on Steve’s uniform. He had designed it himself and yet he couldn’t seem to remember how to work it. Steve chuckled under his breath but helped Tony out and began to remove the uniform, brushing Tony’s fingers away.

Once it was off Steve was left in boxers, which was a sight to see, and Tony was still enjoying the view when Steve stepped back into his space and made his heart stop. “Your turn.”

“Still bossy, even in bed.” Tony shrugged off his jacket. He tugged his shirt over his head which sent his hair falling into his eyes. He pushed the uncooperative strands away, wondering when he got a haircut last.

He noticed Steve’s staring and looked down, seeing the scars marring his chest. Tony was used to seeing them in the mirror, he’d had them for so many years now. He used to look at the arc reactor and wonder how he truly lived with the piece of metal in his chest. And now without it, he was still the reminded of its existence. Tony never thought to be embarrassed of it.

“Sometimes I forgot what these ten years have done to me.” Tony gestured towards his chest but Steve caught his hand and held it against his own chest. It wasn’t a tight but rather a gentle, reassuring pressure.

“You’re beautiful.” Steve told him with unshakable conviction, and Tony couldn’t remember the last time anyone had called him beautiful. He thought maybe the butterflies that had dried up in his stomach were beginning to come to life.

“I bet you say that to all the gals.” Tony laughed, and he felt weight that was resting against his chest begin to lift. Steve’s free hand reached out and traced the ring that signified where the arc reactor used to rest nestled among his skin and bones. His hand traced the line that crossed through it with a small frown beginning to pull his lips down.

Tony wanted to kiss it away, so he did. “We are leaving the past in the past tonight, yeah?” If they started to think too hard, their little life raft was bound to sink.

“Yeah.” Steve agreed with a sigh, leaning forward and kissing Tony again. It was short and sweet and Tony savored it like a dehydrated man might savor a couple of drops of water. Not nearly enough to quench his thirst, but it was a start.

Steve’s hands moved down to Tony’s belt, working it open and tossing it aside. Tony was about to mutter something about how Steve was awfully eager when his tongue slipped into Tony’s mouth and effectively silenced the words.

Steve began to move them backwards towards the desk and if Tony didn’t have a mouthful of Steve’s expert tongue he would have protested. There was no way his first time with Steve was going to be against a desk. Once Steve had his fill of exploring Tony’s mouth and making his brain short circuit, he pulled away to tug at Tony’s zipper.

“Bed.” Tony stuttered, his chest heaving. As someone who had their fair share of sleeping around it wasn’t fair that Steve was rendering him completely useless like this.

“And apparently you're still picky, even in bed.” Steve hooked his arms under Tony’s thighs and picked him up, moving them to the bed. Tony let out a breathy laugh, holding back a very unmanly noise at being picked up and taken to bed like a blushing bride.

“You’re going to pay for that.” Tony declared, his back hitting the bed as he landed on top of it. Steve fell down on top of him, catching himself on his forearms and hovering over him.

“We’ll see about that.” Steve captured his already bruised lips in another kiss, and Tony was hardly complaining.

Steve stripped them both of the rest of their clothes with impatience while Tony laid back and admired Steve’s body. Tony almost told him to slow down a little but he couldn’t bring himself to do it when he desperately wanted Steve. It was a frightening, all-consuming thing.

The rest of it was a blur of moving limbs. At times hot and heavy while at others sweet and slow. Tony catalogued all that he could in the time that was slipping past his fingers. This was all he would probably ever have, and he wanted to remember every single detail.

Everything about the way Steve looked at him, so unlike he ever had before. It was surreal to say the least. His attention was so solely focused on him that it alone could steal his breath away.

Tony tried to memorize the exact blue of Steve’s eyes. The perfect golden hue of his hair in the moonlit room. The way the muscles in his back rippled underneath his feather-light touch. The shift in his expression when he was just raw pleasure and nothing else.

When their moment had passed and they were both just a tangle of sweaty limbs and puffs of breath, Tony wondered how much time they had lost.

Steve was the first to pick himself up, dropping a quick kiss on Tony’s forehead as he did so. Tony was still swamped in the sheets and he never wanted to leave. If he could lay there forever and just breathe Steve in, maybe even that wouldn’t have been enough.

It was always going to end one way. Tony knew it, he was just worried Steve didn’t. Tony sat up, the sheets scrunched up on his chest falling into his lap. “I have a present for you.” Tony said, quietly, like he didn’t want to disrupt the night and the sleeping creatures outside the compound.

Steve looked up, the lines on his forehead making themselves known. “You do?” Tony watched as Steve slipped back into his uniform, buckling it up and bringing himself closer to the destruction of tomorrow. Tony wondered breezily if he should feel vulnerable still naked in the bed with only a sheet hiding him from the still heated air around them.

Tony gestured to the edge of the room where a shield sat, ready and waiting. Steve shot Tony an exasperated look, but went over and picked up the shield regardless with a goofy smile. “‘Nomad’s Frisbee’? Nice touch.”

Tony laughed, happy and carefree. He hadn’t felt this light in what felt like years. “I thought you would like it!” He proclaimed defensively, but there was a laugh in his voice too. He had painted the words on the front of the shield in yellow paint just a couple of days before when he had a second of spare time. “It’s yours. I’m done playing this game, I’m done being petty and you’re done being stubborn. Please take it? I actually really want you to have it.” And Tony thought he would be saying it just to convince Steve, and maybe he was just looser after mind blowingly good sex, but the words rang true.

“You trust me? Have you even forgiven me?” Steve asked, his expression guarded but like it would just take the right words to open him up.

Tony held up his finger, signaling for Steve to give him a second, before reaching over for his jacket and pulling out the burner Steve had gave him so long ago. He hit the call button and put it to his ear.

Steve shook his head with a hint of confusion but picked his matching burner out of a pocket in his uniform. He flipped it open and put it to his ear. “Yeah?”

“I forgave you a long time ago for lying to me. For the Accords, even for Siberia. And I do trust you, more than almost anyone. Which might sound crazy considering I asked you just a little while ago if you tried to kill me in that bunker.” Tony kept going, even as Steve winced.

“But you’re the good when everything else is bad. You are better than any other person in this messed up world. Honestly, I admire you Steve Rogers. And tomorrow I will jump into the heat of battle with you and I won’t bat an eye. I just have one more thing, to say-” Tony shut the phone, looking down at it. “I’ll save it for tomorrow.”

“We’re going to beat Thanos. I swear it.” Steve’s hand dropped and he was watching Tony with a pained expression. Tony had thought the phone call would have cheered him up but now he just seemed like a small boy from Brooklyn.

“I know.” Tony waved him over and stole one last kiss. It tasted like the caramels his mom used to buy for him. Tony considered building some sort of invention that could make one moment last forever.

Tomorrow seemed like a good day to start.

__________

Everything was in waste. Everything was destruction, unstoppable destruction. It terrified Tony so terribly that it trembled through his bones and made him want to collapse to the ground. His suit was the only thing keeping him up.

His teammates were all around, each fighting an impossible battle. Tony knew full well only one mattered.

Tony approached Thanos and once he got his eyes on the purple alien, he was no longer scared. It drained from his body because he knew what he had to do to save every single person he cared for.

He was fearless.

And Tony fought, not like he would in a usual battle. Usually he would fight with vigor, with determination. This time he was fighting the winning battle, and he wasn’t going to lose. It wasn’t with vigor and determination, or even perseverance. It was with single minded focus. He put in every single thing he had. Every thread of energy, every ounce of anger, every drop of sadness that he had bottled up.

And Tony knew he had done it, even as he fell back and hit the ground. Even as his suit fell around him in shambles.

He thought of the desert and a ripped jacket wrapped around his head.

He thought he might have heard footsteps and people approaching him. He hoped they would see his smile and that would be enough to keep them going. Because the battle wasn’t over, they just had the advantage on the opposing team.

Tony felt far away when fingers cupped his jaw and he was pulled into someone's arms. Tony knew, even before he tilted his head up and got a clear view, who it was. _Steve._

“-ony! Please, please, you’re alright. Oh god.” Steve’s arms curled around his bleeding stomach, trying to staunch the blood flow. Tony knew it was too late for that. His head fell to the side and he caught sight of Peter and he seemed to be crying.

“Thanks kid.” Tony murmured, reaching up a gauntleted hand to squeeze Peter’s. Peter smiled around the tears and squeezed back just once before turning away. Tony frowned, wondering if it was the bleeding upsetting Peter.

“Tony! Stay with me, come on. I can’t lose you.” Steve’s fingers curled around his chin and Tony caught sight of him again. In his last moments he decided there was no place he’d rather be.

 _It’s okay_ , Tony tried to say when he saw the tears on Steve’s face as well. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” He whispered when he got his voice to work again. He took in a big breath when he felt himself begin to slip away.

Tony summoned all the energy he had left and reached his free hand up to put on Steve’s neck. “I should have said this last night but I was afraid. I’m not afraid anymore.” Tony pulled Steve’s head down and put his lips to his ear.

His last words on this earth were the three most important. He had only ever voiced them to a handful of people and he thought maybe he should have voiced it more when he had the chance.

“I love you.” Tony was the words, he was the breath they floated on. He was the air and he was the sky. Tony was a bird and finally, after so many years-

He was free.

__________

_Tony sat down on the couch, clutching his bandaged head. His stomach swooped and he felt disoriented. This is not how he wanted this day to go._

_“Are you okay?” Steve asked, sitting beside him and meeting his gaze with a look of chagrin. “Sorry for berating you earlier.”_

_“Nice to hear you say Cap, but it’s alright. I always, frustratingly, see your point of view.” Tony leaned his head back against the seat cushions, he smiled softly. “I’m just glad Vision’s okay.”_

_“Me too. I’ve grown to really like him. Despite berating you for the decision to make him too. God, I’m the worst.” Steve leaned his elbows on his thighs, dropping his head into his hands. Tony smile didn’t fade, he just shook his head fondly._

_“Oh, Steve Rogers, you are the light in my life.” Tony fiddled with the bandage above his ear, trying not to pull on it. He vaguely recalled Rhodey reminding him several times to not undo his beautiful work._

_“The only thing I do is yell at you, apparently even when you have a concussion. How can you even say that?” Steve pushed his hands up from his face and into his hair and he looked so surprised. So open and innocent. He looked like he could use a hug._

_“Because it’s okay and I love you anyway.” Tony tugged at the bandages and they fell away. Tony tugged at the ends of it in his lap, wondering if Rhodey might be upset. Hadn’t he mentioned something about leaving the bandages in place?_

_“You-” Steve looked to be going through some sort of shock. Tony knew what it was like to have PTSD so he instantly felt bad, he tried to remember what he had said to no avail. “What?”_

_“I think I should be asking if you’re okay. Try to breathe, and think of happy thoughts.” What had Harley told him when he had anxiety attacks? Tony really missed Harley come to think of it. He should probably check in with the kid sometime._

_“No, I’m fine. Just-” Steve tilted his head to the side, eyes still a bit wide. “What did you say?”_

_“Um,” Tony scratched the back of his neck, ignoring the pulsing spot on his head. He cleared his thoughts and tried to think. “I’m not sure. Was it important? I was just sort of talking, I do that a lot and now with my head I might be prone to saying whatever pops in my head.”_

_“Tony I-” Tony watched him beseechingly, not quite comprehending what was going on. “I-I mean, you have a concussion. Just try to get some rest.”_

_Steve stood very suddenly and Tony shrugged. “You got it boss.” He set his bandages aside after wrapping them back up into a ball. Tony looked up, finding Steve still hovering there._

_“We’ll get through this thing. Aliens are nothing we haven’t seen before. We just have to do it together. I remember someone telling me that.” Tony smiled reassuringly, hoping to give Steve some sort of comfort._

_“Yeah.” Steve agreed with a hint of a smile coloring his features something breathtaking._

_“Together.”_


	2. Alternate Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony couldn't see the familiar blue sky above himself anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very different ending.

Tony gritted his teeth and pushed himself to crawl despite every limb in his body protesting so loudly his head felt like a chorus of sound. 

The ground scratched the skin on his forearms, causing it to peel and producing his blood for the broken ground underneath himself. His suit and his many backups were now loose parts and broken metal, leaving him vulnerable. That was the last thing on his mind. 

The first was getting to Steve.

An explosion reverberated through the ground and it nearly threw Tony onto his back. His fists clenched so hard that his fingernails cut into his palm, little red moons formed on the roughened skin. 

He was only a few feet closer now and he contemplated yelling above the noise surrounding them. It wasn’t hard to make a decision. “Steve!”

Steve wasn’t _moving_ and Tony was very aware of the fact that he should be used to this by now. The constant overhanging presence of death. The tiptoeing on the edge of the land of the living. They were acrobats with floss underneath their expert feet.

“ _Steve!_ ” Tony needed Steve to hear him. He needed a hint. After everything Tony had faced, he couldn’t bear this as well, and so he pushed forward. 

It was dreadfully slow progress, and Tony knew there were other Avengers he should be looking out for. Problem was that amongst whirling winds and explosions, he couldn’t see anyone else. He could only see Steve.

When Tony finally made it to Steve’s side, he collapsed beside him. He lifted his bloodied, shaky arm to put against the faded star on Steve’s chest, searching for movement. He thought his own heart might have stopped beating.

He let out a trembling breath when he felt a small thud against his burning palm. A shiver climbed up his spine and he felt cold when he should have felt the warmth of relief. 

“Steve?” He nudged Steve’s shoulder, wanting a glimpse of the blue sky he no longer found above him. “Don’t you dare die on me, you stupid idiot.” 

Tony turned his head when he heard the boom of Thanos’ voice. His fingers instinctively clutched tighter around Steve’s limp body. 

He thought he saw fire through the dust and he blinked several times, not quite sure what to make of that. Explosions meant fire, but then why did this feel different? Tony wished his legs were strong enough to hold him so he could go check it out.

“Tony?” Tony’s head snapped back down at the small whisper of his name from Steve’s mouth. Tony almost wanted to smile and he felt the skin on his jaw pull in response.

“Yeah, yeah it’s me.” Tony felt Steve begin to get up and he withdrew his hand and let it fall beside him but Steve pulled Tony up with him. Steve’s eyes were on the fire Tony had been looking at only moments before.

“What is that?” Steve asked, still looking out of it. There was a haze in his eyes and wounds were littered across his body. But it seemed like he was quickly regaining strength. Tony didn’t know if it was the serum or stubbornness.

They sat together, looking out with wide eyes and unanswerable questions. It felt like the very end or the very beginning. Which, Tony wasn’t sure.

Steve turned his head to look at Tony. “I have to fight.” He said as he stood up, obviously having much more strength left in him than Tony. Tony barely had the energy to keep sitting up without Steve’s arm around his back.

“I wish I could help but I’ll be here when you get back. Don’t count me out yet.” Tony mustered something he was hoping resembled a smile. It felt weak and ready to crumble.

“I won’t.” Steve bent to pick up his shield with a wince Tony didn’t miss, before extending it out to Tony. Tony reached out to take it dumbly, more out of reflex than anything else.

“Tony.” Steve took a step back, something vibrant and unusual flashing across his face. Tony had never seen it there before. “I love you.” And then Steve disappeared in the dust and left Tony among the rubble with a bright shield in his hand.

It was long minutes of waiting and Tony felt tense for every second of it. He felt so tense that he feared he might explode at any moment. He couldn’t stop his mind from constantly wandering to Steve. He couldn’t stop the echo of Steve’s last words in his head. _I love you._

There was a sudden burst of light and Tony lifted Steve’s shield to deflect it and stop it from blinding him. Once the surge passed, Tony lowered the shield and looked around. He thought the dust might be receding. He thought everything looked brighter. He thought that this might be what rebirth looked like.

Among the fading dust, a figure stepped up to him before crouching down to his level.

He saw the sky in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to clear up two things. First, Ebony Maw is the member of the Black Order that convinces Vision to take out his mind gem. I realized that I never stated that specifically. Second, the fire is Adam Warlock and this ending vaguely follows the comics when Adam Warlock turns Thanos into granite.

**Author's Note:**

> I was trying to do something with my sentence structure and formatting, so I hope that came through in a good way. It took me awhile to get Post-CACW right, but I like how this turned out. Feed into my craving of comments and kudos, I'd love to hear what you all think.
> 
> FYI this is un-beta'ed and if this fic made you feel blue, my [last fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11677713) is super fluffy and sure to cheer you up!


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